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Post by panther on Aug 8, 2009 18:47:52 GMT -5
The feast had drawn to a close, and well, he’d had a pretty interesting night. Everything was so swimmingly, he felt drunk off the sheer vibes of happiness in the room. He felt a little mad, a little ecstatic, and a little… lacking. But the lacking was a nagging sensation that reminded him of the fact he never really had ever come out of a part alone.
Well, technically he wasn’t alone, he had Garisath. And Garisath was more than enough company, despite his constant getting into trouble with everything and anything. Little demon creature. He smirked, looking fondly down at the creature nestled into it’s own cot beside his own bunk, smiling gently as the creatures chest raised and fell gently with the motion of Garisath’s breathing. Ez felt contented watching the miniature brown (though miniature, he was by no means small!).
Ez Rolled onto his back, and looked up at the ceiling of his new abode. It was a good distance form his former abode, but miraculously, he had managed to pack up all of his… scattered items, and transport them into being scattered items here. His room was far from Spartan. Clothes, jewellery, and all sorts scattered quite haphazardly around his room – he imagined this might just change, that it would be enforced upon him by Rhia. He cursed mentally as he gained an image of the sour faced brown rider. Well… She was sour faced in the memories he selected of her. Strange how perception happens.
He sighed and pushed those thoughts aside, and got distracted by a set of foot steps in the corridor, he was one of the last weyrlings back to barracks, and he couldn’t imagine anyone was later than he… but perhaps? He tried to figure out who it was silently as sleep began to drift over him. He stopped, removed his shirt, before he crinkled it with sleeping on it, and pulled off his boots and socks, placing them neatly amongst the array of chaos about him that had been his dressing for the feast.
He yawned and lay back down to begin his sleep. But the noise of footsteps grew louder, and then there was a knock, at his door, he sat up, confused, “Yeah?” He called through.
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Post by Xennai on Aug 8, 2009 19:02:04 GMT -5
He had dithered over it, dithered over coming here. But he hadn't really had a choice. The compulsion to come here had pulled at him, magnetic, almost bewitching. There was no way to go around that. There was no way to stop it.
So come he had.
He'd been watching the new brown rider all night. He'd watched the younger man flirt and talk, gossip and dance. He'd been interested to see Ez speaking with a hard-edged female and even more so when he danced with a golden-haired girl that he knew to be Salina. Ez had said they were friends and judging by how they interacted, they seemed to be very close. He wasn't sure if it was fortunate or not. However, he knew the girl had been left Standing. He supposed she needed a friend.
He walked down the hall to the weyrling barracks, still trying to talk himself out of this. All in vain. There was no chance of success, not when he was so close. He stopped before the door he needed and inhaled. He knocked and heard the voice from within. "Yeah?" Another deep breath. Here we go...
He opened the door quietly, softly, and slipped inside, closing it behind him. He leaned against it, looking to see the dim figure sitting up in its bed. "It's me," he murmured. "It's R'fael."
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Post by panther on Aug 8, 2009 19:10:59 GMT -5
Ez’s eyes widened, seriously?
Honestly?
What was he supposed to say. R’fael turning up here… at his new room… after the hatching. He swallowed, and sat up, flicking the glow back to life, and pulling on a shirt, a deep royal blue colour, stark contrast to his colouring, but he didn’t bother to button it up, it was more the fact that he was less… available with one on.
“Uh-huh… so… good to see you I guess.” He said with a hint of a smile, eyes appraising the brown rider… the senior brown rider. With curiousity and a little shard of thought there too. Memories skimming through his mind, but he didn’t press them. He itched his nose a little, tired, and lethargic from the party. But there was always time enough for R’fael.
“Not. Not that I mean to be either rude or presumptuous,” He was trying out the manners route, and finding it really wasn’t working, especially with a guy that he’d known in ways he didn’t know most of the weyr. “Why…. Why are you uh… here?” There was a little surety in the tone, the brown rider knew the rules of the Weyrling barracks, there was no intimacy, which meant Ez was technically on safe ground. But… He couldn’t really fight something like that could he? Honestly? He knew it would hurt Garisath, but Garisath was asleep, and if R’fael forced? Then there was little Ez could do but fight back in an incredibly unconvincing and girly way. Biting was a forte for him.
He looked over with curiousity, memories, and a little uncertainty to the older brown rider. Praying to Faranth this meeting wouldn’t be one he’d regret.
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Post by Xennai on Aug 9, 2009 0:45:16 GMT -5
R'fael blinked as the light grew. Spots danced before his eyes and it took several moments before his vision cleared. When it had, he saw that the weyrling now wore a shirt unbuttoned over his pale chest. He thought it made him look less available. It only made him look more so. The sleep and fatigue that painted his face, the way his hair stuck up at the back all roared through the brown rider, nearly making him stagger. He wanted...
But he couldn't have. Not now. Not here. Definitely not now. Ez had Impressed but hours gone. He had a new dragon to watch out for and R'fael was not going to go around messing with that. Dragons were important. They were needed. Ez'ki was needed. So what he wanted? Wasn't going to happen? Not for Turns...
It smarted, but he wasn't going to admit it. "It is good to see you," the senior brown rider murmured. His voice was unintentionally soft and seductive--the setting, the secrecy of it, made him hushed. His eyes were soft, gleaming with a sort of pride that seemed to glow within dark, liquid depths. He nodded gently and then shrugged, glancing away. He wasn't quite sure how to explain this, how to explain himself and his presence here.
"I...came to congratulate you." His brows wrinkled and he turned to look at the weyrling, lips quirking. "Faranth help us for gifting you a brown, but I wanted to congratulate you. Yours looks like a fine beast and very steady too. He needs you to be good for him...He needs you to stay strong for him..." R'fael raked a hand through his dark hair and turned. He faced the way for a moment and inhaled deeply, trying to think. He inhaled again, settling himself.
"So...what's his name?" He turned again, facing the younger man. Memories of their last encounter, of the last time they had been alone together, flashed through his mind. He nearly shuddered, feeling the want from the memories translate over to the now. He bit at his tongue, focusing at that pain and not the pleasure running through him. Not now. Not again. Not for a long time.
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Post by panther on Aug 9, 2009 12:43:43 GMT -5
He nodded as R’fael returned the quip about good to see him, Ez couldn’t keep his eyes form wandering, as much as he tried. He just couldn’t quite stop himself, it was like a temptation that because he’d had it, knew what it held. And then what it held? Was taken away, so surely.
Rafe congratulated him, Ez nodded again, keeping his tongue still for a few moments longer than necessary in order to keep his thoughts straight. “Thank you.” But his eyes lowered at the next comment, was R’fael despairing at the fact he had been gifted a brown. He felt a distaste for the man suddenly, as though he would oppose the very thing that made Ez, Ez. Well, rather, the very thing that made Ez’ki, Ez’ki.
“Why? Why is that that you would prefer I were not gifted a brown? But perhaps something else, like perhaps a green? Would a green suit me more? That way you could have your brown chase? Would that give you excuse enough perhaps?” There was an edge on his voice that was discontent.
“Aye, he’s a fine beast R’fael, I know I have to be strong” He narrowed the gap between them a little, “And your visiting me, here, on the first night of my impression, under cover of darkness? Is supposed to aid my behaviour? It is supposed to be a test? To see if I am worthy?” He sounded angry. Ez didn’t sound the happiest person alive right about now.
“Garisath, his name’s Garisath R’fael.” Ez pulled away from them, rather he pulled away from R’fael, and sat himself down on the bunk, settling his face into his hands, looking at the wall opposite. Propping his elbows on his knees, ye put the weight of his thoughts in his hands. Hoping that they would some how be able to aid his mind with the strain.
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Post by Xennai on Aug 9, 2009 16:52:47 GMT -5
The anger directed his way took him by surprise, snapping him out of an uncommon awkwardness that had taken him over. Dark eyes snapped up to the weyrling's and the senior rider shook dark head, brows wrinkled over his eyes. "No. I did not mean that I thought he was better for you. I do not want you to have a green because it doesn't suit you Ez'ki." If he were going to pull the full name game, R'fael was going to as well. "I feel no shame for what I did and neither should you. I nearly meant that you are a troublesome man and having a brown at your side lends weight to what you do."
Did Ez honestly think of him that way? The jibes and insinuations physically hurt. They seemed to be red-hot knives twisting in between his ribs and giving him actual, real pain. He frowned, the hurt rising across his handsome face, painting his dark eyes with the emotion.
"I wasn't trying to see if you were worthy...This wasn't a test..." His head shook and he looked at Ez, the slight anger there now, simmering in the depths of his chocolate eyes. They no longer looked soft now. They looked semi-hard, swimming with the torrent of emotion sweeping through him. "I honestly came to congratulate you...I hadn't the chance tonight...You seemed to slip away every time I tried..." A humorless smile crooked at his lips. He'd known Ez was avoiding him, none it as soon as he saw the weyrling enter the Feast.
R'fael took the few strides neccessary to cross over to Ez'ki. He touched the weyrling's cheek softly, bending down so he could look up into the man's face. The hurt, the slight anger, the anger that Ez always aroused, was still there, lurking in golden skin, in chocolate eyes. He shook his head gently, finger's following from the weyrling's face. "You honestly think that way of me...
Admin's Note:[/hr]"
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Post by panther on Aug 9, 2009 17:09:11 GMT -5
He winced back from the older brown rider’s stern response, even using his full name, he lowered his head further, feeling like the bliss on this night was slowly ebbing from him. But his ears pricked, man? Well that was a change in attitude. He never really thought R’fael had seen him as a man – parse.
“Aw I’m sorry… I just, really didn’t expect you to… you know, turn up here and … well I don’t know.”
Did he? Did he honestly just Blush? Perhaps a fraction, but he slipped his forehead forward, hair sliding down along with it to cover any embarrassment that may have formed. The eyes on that man could make a diamond melt. And Ez… wasn’t avoiding him… yes he was, and they both knew it. “Sorry… I’ve kind of been dreading this part… I mean like the whole meeting again thing.” He tried fruitlessly to explain, hands making an elaborate gesture at the word ‘thing’ as though he didn’t know what it was, more like he just didn’t want to verbalise it.
R’fael closed the distance, making Ez tighten his posture, he couldn’t trust himself at all. Those calloused fingers that had been all too involved before were gentle against his cheek. Ez closed his eyes for a moment, his mind projected images there though all too quickly, so opening them again, he found himself meeting that dark impenetrable gaze of the brown rider. He fumbled for words for a moment, then paused and began his sentence again.
“Hardly Rafe! Shards no. But you turn up here, after a party, her , in my room, alone, after dark, to congratulate me, and tell me that I must behave? And smolder like you always do just there, so reachable, yet so unattainable? Simply because of an even that happened a few hours ago?” He cursed under his breath in an unusually callous manner. “you taunt me with what I had, infront of what I have. You… You make it very difficult.” He replied in a terse manner. Looking over at the brown rider. “your company alone, presence even…” He trailed off, sounding forlorn with his thoughts.
“My dragon now gives weight to my thoughts and actions, eh?” He raised a brow and as returned to an earlier note. “But it gives me responsibility too right?” He scoffed. Like he’d be taking any. Ez didn’t do ‘responsible’ He barely regarded himself an adult, despite being five turns senior to the “Age of reasoning” on Pern. What absolute toffee that was. Ez was not an adult, he never would be.
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Post by Xennai on Aug 9, 2009 17:49:26 GMT -5
R'fael found it slightly amusing to see the weyrling apologizing and fumbling over her words when he was so characteristically silver tongued and smooth. The senior brown rider accepted the apologies with a nod and a slight smile. He was finding he liked watching Ez stumble.
Head tilted to one side, the soft smile spreading. R'fael chuckled lightly, glancing up at the ceiling and back down as he laughed quietly. "Why would you be dreading this, sweetheart? So we slept together. We had one amazing night together. We both enjoyed it. We both said we'd have no regrets. So why dread it?" It didn't make sense to him. Ez had known what was going to happen coming into it. He was the one who had been emphatic about not bonding.
And now he did this...
Admin's Note:[/hr]
When he was kneeling in front of the weyrling, he laughed, smiling lightly. "I smolder? I've never heard that before." He shook his head lightly, his smile fading now as he turned more somber. "I'm not intentionally trying to make this harder, Ez. I honestly am not. I just wanted to congratulate you...And what with you avoiding me, I thought that I might come and find you..." A shrug.
"Hey now, hey," he crooned. He reached out, stroking the weyrling's face. "Yes, there will be responsibility but, hey, you're Ez. You're amazing and smart and one sharding great man. This?" R'fael made a scoffing noise. "This is nothing, sweetheart. Faranth would not have gifted you with Garisath if you didn't deserve it." The senior rider's head shook as he stroked the weyrling's cheek with calllused fingertips. "You don't have to be an adult to accept responsibility, sweetheart."
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Post by panther on Aug 9, 2009 18:08:12 GMT -5
Ez almost shivered to see that smile. But what ame next made him go cold then hot simultaneously. “Because….” He paused, taking a deep breath then huffing it out dramatically. “Because we’re not meant to, form the off we weren’t meant to sleep together.” Ez said, words slipping back into their elegance for a while, “you calling me sweetheart, and bringing back memories, and making me.” He grumbled a little and pouted at R’fael, “You lay before me the very fruit upon what I wish I could partake. But I can’t. R’fael. It’s like giving an addict one of his favourite liqueurs, and then placing it in an impenetrable glass box.” He shook his head and met the brown riders eyes, no, actually it’s worse. Because a bottle of liquid can’t do the small things you’re doing.” He corrected himself.
Rafe knelt before him, amused by Ez’s admission, “Well you do, ok. Honestly you do.” But Ez wasn’t saying this as a compliment, it was more of a desperate tone, “And you know? Your innocence in all of this just makes it worse, you’re senior to me, you’re meant to be some one I look up to and respect and listen to, and when all I can think about is repeating that night when I look at you? I can’t keep a level enough mind to come to take anything that you say in a normal way.” He shook his head, “You make it difficult.” Refraining from the use of the word hard. It was to many connotations in his mind, and he was already exerting a fair amount of control as it was.
He comforted Ez, but the contact was making him feel like a fool, it was making him curl to the touch, and yet flinch all at the same time, “R’fael! Please! Maybe not intentionally, but the small things are making this worse, stop stroking me, stop petting me, and the terms, please please drop them, I can’t. Not now, you know it. And throwing reminders in my face really, really is not doing me any favours.” His tone was fevering. It was paced and a little too quick to be considered poetic, but it was well worded nonetheless. He swallowed hard and looked away from those eyes. He wanted to just lean forwards and kiss the man, but he couldn’t. He’d already been rebuked harshly for having accepted a kiss from a girl who was close enough to be his sister. And being found with a brown rider kneeling before you, within a far too intimate distance, who you had rumoured to have had at with. That was without the endearments, the hands and the general tension that weighted heavy in the room.
“Just… sit will you angel.” Tongue slipping back into an old term, he mentally rebuked himself but tried to carry on as he attempted to rectify some of what he had mentally listed as wrong with this situation. “Rhia will kill me if she knows you’re here. She’s already had my throat for Salina kissing me earlier” He rolled his eyes to the heavens, “And if she finds I have an unauthorised visitor, who it’s almost common knowledge I’ve slept with, kneeling before me? Making eyes and petting me, and me looking the picture of a hungry canine before a juicy steak? My guts would be hung form the fireheights.” He shook his head.
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Post by Xennai on Aug 9, 2009 19:17:22 GMT -5
R'fael listened to Ez, appreciating the sound of his voice and his words, loving how they seemed to wrap about him. Ez had always had a silver tongue and R'fael had wished, he'd wished that he could talk as the weyrling did. And then he forgot the glamor of the words and focused on the intent. A light frown lined his features and his hand dropped, returning to his own personal space. He understood, or thought he did. Being nice wasn't helping. It wasn't just him who had gotten rather attached...rather addicted...
He laughed lightly, smile soft. "What you're saying is that you're addicted to me, is that it?" He laughed softly and stood, shoving his hands into his pockets. Away from temptation. And shards was he tempted. He blew out a slightly frustrated breath and thrust a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Ez. I really am. I'm not trying to make this harder...I'm not trying to make this any more difficult for either of us. It just is how it is. I can't help it. I'm trying, believe me, I am." He waved a hand in front of himself, his movements large and slightly frustrated. "This is me trying, Ez."
He shook his head, wheeling in frustration again, raking his hands over his golden face and through his hair. This was not easy. This was not easy at all. He made an angry, frustrated little noise, eyes closing. "I'm sorry, swee--I'm sorry, Ez. I am, believe me. I don't want to make this any more difficult for you than it has to be. Weyrlinghood is all good and well, but it's sharding hard. You want to do all these things but you can't...not only because getting busted for it would mean years of h(i)ell to pay, but it also means hurting the one soul who knows you inside and out, the one soul you love more deeply than anyone else in your life."
R'fael exhaled heavily and took a seat beside the weyrling, being careful not to touch him now he knew the other man's feelings about it. "Do you not respect me, look up to me or listen to me now?" he asked quietly. "I thought you would even more now." He sounded almost as if he were joking and then he whirled, eyes wide and shocked. "Wait! You said Rhia caught you and Salina kissing
Admin's Note:[/hr]" That didn't make sense. That didn't make sense at all. Their dance at the Feast now took on a whole new connotation, as did every look and touch and word he'd seen them share, despite seeing the girl looking a little enraptured with a blue weyrling. "Ez, what the shells has happened?"
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Post by panther on Aug 9, 2009 19:38:40 GMT -5
He opened his mouth, paused and looked at R’fael with suspicion, “Well, it’s a comparable analogy, it’s not perfect but, it carries its own weight – unlike an addiction I can avoid you. And until now I’ve been doing well at it too.” He mumbled towards the end. “I know, honestly, I know you’re not trying to increase the substantial and growing number of adversities that face me in this sharding Weyrlinghood, but your earnest humility just makes it even more agonising, if you were a scheming bastard about it, I could excuse myself, convince myself otherwise, and make everything quite plain and well justified in my mind, and categorically strike you from my mind… but I can’t.” He shook his head, “I know you’re trying, and the fact that you’re showing as much restraint as you are is making it tantalising, you’re just such a temptation. And more so now I know whats on offer…” He smirked over at the rider, a backhanded compliment, it was rare ever went back to some one for a want of seconds.
“I know, and shards it’s all but rotting around me already,” He stopped, suddenly, abrupt, and looked towards R’fael, brows knitting gently as he gave the rider a look of confusion, “Not in the way they want me to. Not in the manner that I’d call you sir, in the fashion that I’d bow my head and scarper if you told me to. I respect you in a way that men respect each other, they can hold an opinion, and do as they please, but they are respected for who they are, not in a manner that might cow me.” He shook his head, as he explained. “Of course I respect you, all of it, I do. You shouldn’t have to ask such stupid questions R’fael.” He glossed over the idea of his life partner being affected, it was why his hands were currently screwed together tighter than a vice, knuckled all white and veins so taught they were becoming quire prominent.
He didn’t particularly wish to admit he looked up to the man more now. For he was so earnest, humble, and yet courageous all at the same time, he was a unique, and startling combination that was quite alien to Ez.
Then he raised Salina. And sounded Shocked. Ez felt awful for a moment, then a sick humour filled him, he laughed for a few seconds, then reality fell in, was R’fael… Jealous? He looked at the man, bemused and befuddled by what was in his mind, there was no way he was right, it was preposterous, absolute folly… madness, surely?
“I’m sorry, eh, can I just get this right, Are you Jealous
Admin's Note:[/hr]” He smirked, but explained afterwards, “Salina, kissed me, it was a peck, on the lips, yes, but it was nothing more than what friends share. Salina and I are too close for something like that, She was aggrieved that she didn’t impress, I, as a true friend that I am, took her away from it, and filled her with some semblance of her former strength, I know how she ticks, it’s almost like winding clockwork with her.” A soft smile lingered on his lips. “And Rhia gave me heIl for it. She did. I don’t think she likes me at the moment,” He shrugged nonchalantly, looking slightly amused by the fact if anything. “Always told you I was never a man for authority to stand true.” He laughed mirthlessly, through is nose, and shook his head. Leaning back on his bunk, propping himself up with his elbows, and looking over at the rider who was now sitting beside him.
He opened his mouth, closed it again, and looked at the rider, a longing filled him, he wanted something anything.
He sat up, and with a few jarring motions slipped into R’faels arms, draping them about him. He closed his eyes and held his breath waiting for the inevitable, the moment when the man pulled away.
Ez couldn’t sit before temptation, he was weak like that, he wasn’t used to being told he couldn’t have something. But he felt comfort, pure and utter comfort there. His mind blacked shortly, ignoring all the other external factors. The man was so warm, so lean. He felt his skin prickle with sensation, his mind ruffled through emotions of confusion and being torn from his desires, forcibly. He didn’t want to move, to breath for fear it might shatter the illusion that he was keeping for a moment. Just a moment longer. He prayed silently
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Post by Xennai on Aug 10, 2009 14:49:36 GMT -5
R'fael listened to Ez speak, finding that he didn't think he should add his own thoughts or musings. The weyrling's words seemed to be rhetorical, the man's own musings that took on a physical evidence. It wasn't neccessary for the senior rider to speak. They both knew what Ez was talking about. However, lips quirked as the other mentioned temptation and gave him somewhat of a compliment.
Head shook as R'fael frowned, turning to look at the weyrling. "I wouldn't want anyone, let alone you, to bow and scrape before you." His voice was just as soft, hushed and deep as ever. Simple sincerity ran through it. "Cowing you is the least thing I'd want. I'd much rather have your brand of respect than theirs." Apparently, theirs was the Weyr. Theirs might be Rhia and Christae. He wasn't quite sure but the impression was there. This was authority-hating Ez after all.
R'fael laughed softly, but it was slightly strained, maybe just a bit embarrassed. "Jealous?" He shook his head, laughing again. The strain was there, as was the embarrassment. He listened to the weyrling's words of explanation, feeling something lift from him, something heavy that had been compressing. "So you gave her strength back by kissing her?" R'fael frowned, one brow rising, not really understanding. "It sounds to me that you regard her like something you can control, sweetheart," he murmured, not sounding angry or reproachful. It was idle chatter, merely an observation he'd noted. An observation that had taken the place of his commenting or not on his jealousy.
The brown rider looked at the weyrling as he sat back. Words rose and were stopped. He didn't quite know what to say. There was so much. There was, conflictingly, so little. So he was silent, fingers idly playing with a twisted hemp bracelet that sat on his wrist.
And then Ez was pressed against him, his own arms draped about the weyrling. The shock filtered through him, quick and sudden. Electric. As was the feeling of warmth that suddenly overtook him. R'fael blinked, staying as Ez had positioned him and then arms were moving, wrapping about the other man, drawing him closer. One arm hung snug about his waist as his hand gripped the back of the weyrling's crimson head, drawing him closer. He inaled deeply, appreciating the man's scent, his nose buried in the weyrling's hair. "Ez," he whispered softly.
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Post by panther on Aug 10, 2009 15:11:57 GMT -5
Ez grumbled, “Well I’m glad of that at very least, I can’t imagine cowing to you. I don’t do well bowing to anyone, much less some one I’ve slept with.” He gave an odd aloof look towards the older rider.
He listened, and looked at the man sidelong, curious quite to how he was getting this, but not quite nailing it. “No, Rafe, I told you, she kissed me, it was a thank you, nothing more, we talked, I’m good at that too you know.” He said with a slight edge to it. “And I know I don’t control her! Hardly, we’re just close is all, and well, when you know some ne as well as you do, you can edge them towards where you know they need to be, she does the exact same with me.” He shrugged nonchalantly. Salina had often pushed him to where she knew he should be, to where she knew he would benefit from it. That instance wasn’t one, but, in others, she certainly had. They were willing to take flack for each other, rebukings and telling offs, though Ez was much more of a natural at that than her, and he would. Then he realised, R’fael had avoided the subject. That was as good as admission to Ez, but he wouldn’t let it drop, just to tease the rider a little.
“Hey… you know you never actually answered my question, was that jealousy? Os I got in trouble for kissing her, and thee was no consequence for us? Or… maybe…you thought you had a monopoly on me?” He said, eyes remaining on R’fael as he turned his head sideways and lowered his chin in a definitively feminine motion.
And just as Ez prayed for things to continue, to just let it sit for a while, he was granted his wish, Ez sighed softly, quietening for a while, and the rider softly uttered his name. He hummed contentedly for a moment, feeling incredibly small, despite the fact that R’fael was actually about his height, the man was just a lot more solid than Ez was. Pat of him prayed he’d never get that solid, but the other luxuriated in the comfort the man gave.”mmm?” He murmured in question to his name being said.
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Post by Xennai on Aug 10, 2009 15:35:12 GMT -5
What Ez had said was the real problem with relations between candidates or weyrlings with riders already established. "I can’t imagine cowing to you. I don’t do well bowing to anyone, much less some one I’ve slept with." That really was the problem. Because if you breeched the lines, if you crossed over from what was supposed to be, you realized why certain things were in place. Things such as rules. Because rules kept things where they were supposed to be, they kept things in their proper place.
Not that R'fael cared if things weren't how they were supposed to be between Ez and himself.
He realized, as the weyrling spoke, that he had made a grievous mistake in misunderstanding. Ez was entilted to the slight bite in which he spoke. The brown weyrling and Salina, the little mother he knew, were nothing but friends, the best of friends if he was understanding. And with that, as the weyrling said, came a certain understanding of one another and the right to use that knowledge to help. "Ah, I see," he murmured. He translated his apologies in eye alone and not voice.
R'fael sighed softly, hugging the weyrling and basking in the feeling of their bodies pressed together. It was sexual, of course it was, but it was also comfort, it was the knowledge that there was another human being who wanted as you, who needed as you did. That was what was truly comforting. That was the source of what warmth he felt. R'fael laughed quietly, mouth bending closer to the weyrling's ear. "Until this thing between us is over, be it tomorrow or five Turns from now, I consider you mine. I know we will see others, I know we will have relations with them, but I always consider you mine." He laughed softly, a quiet pain and humor on his face the other man could not see. "That is what jealousy I have."
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Post by panther on Aug 10, 2009 15:51:57 GMT -5
Ez smirked against him, as words whispered in his ears, they heartened him, they did. To know he would be there, but at thee same time, they were quite scary. The prospect of a casual affair… but that he belonged to R’fael? Was that how he wanted it? He thought for a while, and made a soft noise of content, ignoring the fact he really realy should be taking his mind awy form the temptation R’fael presented, but knowing he’d be there after his weyrling hood – should Ez want it – was one enormous comfort.
“Well… that’s good to know.” He was nerved by the words, but he showed it as little as possible, “But I’m glad to hear you have jealousy, it’s a good thing. Maybe when I can I’d like to make a much more public show of that jealousy.” Sinister and sadistic speech slipping from Ez. He’d done it before, got one to covert him so, and then go for their arch rival – it was fun. You got some brilliant reactions form it.
But he looked up at the rider curiously now, shifting back a bit, but leaving his hand on the riders thigh, not touching with intent, but just there. He bit his lip for a second nit knowing whether to ask or not. “When will it be the end R’fael? When will we consider each other as nothing more, and nothing less than what we are, with no strings attached?” He couldn’t believe he was asking, that was always something he decided for himself. Always and ever. He decided when strings were cut, when things ended, and when all ties were loosed and connections severed. But with this? How was he supposed to know. IT was like no other situation he had been in. He had never been so torn by a decision as such. Was it because suddenly, he knew he wouldn’t be doing anything for the best part of an entire Turn and that he welcomed the idea of another go at what they had had at the end of that turn?
Was he just being selfish? Or perhaps it was something else. He glanced over at Garisath. The dragon slept, with a soft snore echoing through the room in the lack of conversation that beget silence. He looked at the brown, a tender edge catching him for a moment as he distanced himself from the world. Including R’fael before him.
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Post by Xennai on Aug 10, 2009 16:52:12 GMT -5
R'fael smirked at Ez's words, nearly laughing. He just barely controlled it. The man didn't sound as if he was sure that it was good. He didn't sound as if he knew what was going on at all. It was funny, it really was. Here was Ez, a self-proclaimed serial relationshiper...sounding unnerved, if R'fael was hearing right.
Wonders would never cease.
"A more public show of my jealousy?" R'fael frowned, not sure he knew what Ez was getting at. Not sure he was at all. Ahh, it was Ez. The brown rider didn't expect to get everything when he was with the weyrling.
The feeling of the weyrling's hand on his thigh sent little prickles through him, prickles of electricity. He tried to stiffle it, he tried to stop it. He didn't want to make this any harder for Ez than it had to be. Thank Faranth he hadn't been as promiscuous as Ez during his candidacy or weyrling days. Else he'd be feeling a lot like he did now, he expected. Which was no way to feel. R'fael sighed, fingers threading through the weyrling's brilliant hair. "It will be the end when it's the end," he murmured softly. "It will be the end when we decide we can't do what we're doing any longer, when we decide it'd be better for us, when we feel like it's time to part."
R'fael sighed, leaning forward to rest his forehead against Ez's. His nose swept back and forth as he exhaled softly once more. "I can't tell you how, when, where or why, darling. All I can tell you is that it will end when it ends. Will we be happy? Perhaps so. Will we be sad? Probably. The point is to not think of the end. The point is to think of the good times ahead of us."
The brown rider drew back, not wanting to make this harder, not wanting to make a scene perfect for someone to intrude upon. He followed the weyrling's gaze and smiled, toying with the ends of his hair. "It's wondorous, isn't it?" he murmured. "Loving someone so quickly, being connected with another so fast. It's like you blink and it happens. And you're changed, everything is changed, forever after..."
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Post by panther on Aug 10, 2009 17:05:57 GMT -5
He frowned at the rider’s laughter, “What’s funny? I fail to see what exactly is amusing about this R’fael…” Using full terms again, showing the fact he didn’t exactly like the fact the rider was laughing at him.
But at the rider’s question he nodded, without hesitation, “I’d like to see how you’d react to jealousy… like, forced upon you. Like If I were sitting there, with some pretty girl in my arms… or boy, what ever – gender is insignificant – but, jut as to how you would react… I think it could be quite a scene.” He smirked.
Then Rafe went on to explain his answer to Ez’s previous question. Most of it he agreed with. But then came a sentence that floored him, almost literally.
"Loving someone so quickly, being connected with another so fast. It's like you blink and it happens. And you're changed, everything is changed, forever after..."
Ez’s eyes widened, his mind slowly wouldn’t give words when he searched for them, they slipped from his grasp, and his tongue would make no intelligible sound. He slowly withdrew any contact he had with R’fael and looked at the man as though he might be an alien come down from the Red Star, come to feed on his blood. (quite as to why an alien from the Red star would feed on human blood, he was quite unsure, but that was the look he gave R’fael).
“Uhm. Yeah. Sure.” He tried to cover his wild eyed look, and the cold panic that was coming over him. He didn’t love R’fael. Certainly not. Ez’ki didn’t love except for in a platonic way. Platonic he could do, and he was good at. But. Other than Lust? He didn’t go there, that was territory that remained untouched. He didn’t love. He would not. That was a messy game. A fool’s game, only an idiot would trifle with those sort of affairs. He shook his head, and then calmly added, “I think ‘love’ is a little strong, don’t you? I’m not sure I’m in love with you… really.” He shook his head, and his brows lowered, slanting towards the middle a little, concern wrinkling his brow a little as he hoped R’fael wouldn’t take complete offence.
What they had was casual… Was it not?
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Post by Xennai on Aug 10, 2009 17:38:27 GMT -5
"What's funny, my dear weyrling, is that you seem to have done everything with everyone, no, no, I don't mean in a whoreish way, I just mean you are experienced, and yet you balk at the thought of something with me." R'fael chuckled, watching the weyrling's face, his eyes wickedly amused. "Apparently I'm not as good-looking as you say I am."
Humor was suddenly gone, wiped away in an instant. The thought of Ez with another person...A low growl echoed from R'fael's chest and he shook his head. "No, I don't think that'd be something you'd like to see," the rider mumured lowly. "It wouldn't be something you'd like to see at all..." R'fael imagined the numerous things he'd like to do to a woman or man who took Ez's affections but then he didn't really blame them. The weyrling could be very persuasive.
He was jerked from such thoughts when he felt Ez drawing back, not only physically but emotionally as well. He frowned, wondering what in Pern the man was concerned about. He wondered what he could have said to cause his and then the answer came. Eyes went wide and R'fael leaned back, shock crossing his face.
And then he started laughing.
They were large, bell-like tolls, much louder than the noise the man usually issued. He looked at the weyrling across him, guffawing. "Oh, Ez." His head shook as he was overcome with laughter. "I'm sorry but I don't love you!" He laughed again, reaching forward to grip the man's chin, the humor in his eyes. "I like you very, very much, sweetheart, but I don't love you. Faranth help the man or woman who does!" He snickered, leaning forward spontaneously and kissing the man's mouth quick and light. "And shards, I'm lucky it's not me."
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Post by panther on Aug 10, 2009 17:50:31 GMT -5
An enormous wave of relief drained through him, and he sat silent for a moment, and blinked, then laughed. At first even the laughter as hesitant, but then it became honest amusement, “Oh R’fael! Don’t scare me like that! That means Run to me. Shards man” He laughed and shook his head, amused by the words he had taken wrongly, but his brows knitted for a moment, and he looked at R’fael. “Then… What did you mean if you didn’t mean that you loved me – not that I’m displeased by that admission, far from it!” He laughed looked at the Brown rider expectantly.
He looked harsh at the brown rider, who was explaining his former humour to him, “That is hardly a reason to laugh! And you know that’s not the truth of it, angel,” He added to display a point, then smirked, knowing how that term got to him, and continued, “you’re an attractive guy, one of the best about the Weyr, I’ll give you that, I’d not lie about such a thing. Though I would like to note, that’s excluding myself. I don’t survey myself into my own polls, that would be ridiculous.” He cut a line under that diversion with his hand and then continued with his main point, “I don’t balk at something involving you at all, I respect what I had with you. I enjoyed it. And I don’t normally enjoy first timers.” He smirked, normally aout now he would be turning on charm heavily. But he couldn’t. Not only was his bonded sleeping about three foot from him, but the creature that he was bonded too was far too young.
He grinned ferally as R’fael growled, bitting his lip, taking pleasure in the display of jealousy that the thought of such an act would bring about for the older brown rider. He grinned ruthlessly, amused, thoroughly by the reaction. “Perhaps, perhaps not, but either way, the decision will have to wait for a while.” He shrugged, “just don’t taunt me, else I will, and be warned, I’ll do worse too.” He warned. And they were no idle threats, he had done much worse than that before this date. But then he was quite promiscuous at very, very least description.
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Post by Xennai on Aug 10, 2009 18:24:31 GMT -5
"Sorry!" R'fael laughed, hands raised in front of himself, the laughter still on his face. "I didn't mean to scare you! I didn't think it would!" He made a scathing little sound and glanced over at Garisath, jerking his head at the brown. "I was talking about Impressing, my dear Ez. I was talking about the bond with your dragon, not about--" he leaned in close, acting as if he were talking about something secret "--loving you. You promised that was a secret!" He leaned back, winking, mischievous grin on his handsome face.
Eyes rolled as the brown rider snorted. "Oh, yes, I'm second to you, of course. Of course." He laughed, head shaking and poked the weyrling lightly in the chest. "Oh, Ez, do not even go there, darling." When Rafe turned to look at Ez, his eyes were dark and unexceptionably wicked. There were clearly very dirty thoughts going through his mind. "What happened with us was much, much more than simply enjoying." His eyes dropped down and back up Ez, lingering over his body. "Much more than simply enjoying," he purred.
Eyes narrowed at Ez's warning and R'fael leaned forward, lips close to the weyrling's ear. "I do not begrudge you any others, Ez'ki of brown Garisath, but if you have another just to get to me..." His tone lowered, voice deepened. "I promise, darling, that the next time we're alone, you will regret it." And R'fael wasn't going to make the weyrling regret it by hurting him. Not intentionally at least. Ez was very good at...stretching to avoid pain.
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