In the Library....again

[maira]

It had been two sevendays since the clutching and Jessa had begun Candidate training with the rest of those who had been chosen to be Candidates for the eggs that were now hardening on the Sands. One of her fellow Candidates also happened to be her best friend and at the moment she couldn't find him. She had checked the stables, she had checked the barracks, she had checked their classrooms. The only places to check now were the kitchen and the library. Out of the two, Jessa could pretty well bet she could find him in the library. After all, the guy had been known to go without food if he was absorbed in a particularly interesting scroll.

So, with nowhere left to check, Jessa took off in the direction of the library. The path there had become quite familiar and she was able to get there almost without thinking. Instead she let her mind stray to the day's lesson.

She was so lost in thought she ran past the library door and didn't realize it until she wound up at a staircase that was unfamiliar. Blinking, she turned around trying to get her bearings. When she spotted the library entrance she smiled and jogged the last few steps and pushed open the door carefully. She'd opened it too fast once and had knocked poor Valkoran on his butt as he was leaving.

Once she was inside, she laughed at the sight before her. Valkoran had a few scrolls scattered on the main table in the middle of the room and he had a smudge of dust on his cheek. "Valkoran, I found you!" she said triumphantly as she closed the door behind her.

[Kandarra]

Valkoran searched over the scrolls he had laid out on the table. One was a scroll he had received as a gift, and two were from Dark Moon's library. He was comparing them, and it seemed that the caravan in his scroll had only traveled to Dark Moon three times, but the library said it was four. He was about to look more into it when he heard the door open slowly. His light grey eyes looked up to see who it was, and his mouth opened, but a familiar face peeked around the door. It was Jessalyn, his best friend.

"Valkoran, I found you!" said the tall, raven-haired girl who walked in. Valkoran grinned.

"Yes you did." He pulled out and dusted off a chair next to him and scooted over, welcoming her to sit. "And guess what I found!" He didn't wait for her to answer as he pulled the two conflicting scrolls together. "There's a discrepancy in the two records here. The scroll you gave me says that your caravan has traveled here three times since Dark Moon has been a Weyr. Weyr records, however, say that it's been here four. Looking at these records, what do you think? which one is wrong?"

Personally, he thought that the Weyr records were incorrect. The extra occasion they claimed that Jessa's caravan had visited, there were no records of what was traded at all. Also, the caravan that year hadn't even traveled to the Southern continent. He waited for Jessa's appraisal with his chin in his hand and curious eyes; he wanted to see if she agreed.

[maira]

She hadn't even started over to him yet when Valkoran started in on his newest discovery and she couldn't help but shake her head and smile. He was so adorable when he got excited over the strangest things. Adorable? Her eyes snapped open and she stared at Valkoran for a moment as if he were a tunnel snake.

Shaking her head again, Jessa pushed thought of her friend being adorable far from her mind before turning her attention back to him. He had drawn two scrolls together and pulled a seat out for her to sit by him. Taking the seat next to him, Jessa leaned in close to both him and the scrolls, ignoring the blush creeping up her neck to her cheeks, to examine what he was pointing out. It only took her a moment to see what Valkoran was talking about and she answered him, "I'm gonna guess that the Caravan would know better where they've been than the Weyr. After all the Weyr sees so many different Caravans and tithe and supply trains. They could easily get things confused."

[Kandarra]

"That's exactly what I was thinking." Valkoran beamed at Jess. She almost always agreed with him, but sometimes she had been known to point out things he hadn't noticed. But right now he noticed that her cheeks were a pale pink.

He wondered for a moment, then figured she was thinking about that man she had talked to in the caravan. He wouldn't have been surprised if she did have feelings for him, but he didn't like it one bit. The guy had been so rude to him. Jessa didn't deserve someone who was going to be one way to some people and another to others. Who knew how he would be once they were betrothed or espoused? Valkoran all of a sudden felt very protective of his Jessalyn. He started at that thought. His Jessalyn? No. She wasn't his, and wouldn't be. Before that thought could go further, he cleared it from his mind and turned his attention back to Jess.

"So, how are you today? I haven't seen you since yesterday morning." He had suggested they give Dancer a break in his training for a few days to see how his training would hold up if they let it e for a few days; as a result, he hadn't seen her this morning like he usually did. "Have you gone to see the runners?"

[maira]

"After going on a scavenger hunt for you, and finally finding you hear, I'm a little worn out but I'm fine," Jessa teased her friend. When she looked up at him from the scrolls she smiled at him and answered his other question, "And yes, I've gone to see the boys. They're all doing well. Dancer is getting antsy to go out and so is Shif. We need to take them out soon."

She was happy to get onto the topic of the runners, it was always a simple and easy thing for them to talk about. Now was no exception. Jessa just hoped that Valkoran was ready to head outside where she could focus on something besides her best friend. Dancer would be a wonderful distraction...

[Kandarra]

Valkoran nodded. "We do. But, there's another scroll I saw here somewhere..." He got up and went to the section of shelves that seemed the most dusty. "There was a scroll about--" he traced his fingers lightly along the shelves, leaving a dust-free trail. "Here," he said triumphantly, stopping and delicately pulling out a scroll with his long and nimble fingers. He brought it back over to the table where Jessa sat and grinned.

"This scroll supposedly describes the different communities of Pern-- Weyrs, Holds, caravans, Craft Halls, renegade groups, the like-- accurately. But look here." He pointed with his finger just above it, careful not to scratch the hide or the ink. "It says here that caravans only travel on their respective landmasses. But Dark Moon and Ista Weyrs have had almost more caravan visits than any of the other Weyrs." He gestured towards the scroll laid out that said how many visits Benden, Igen, and all the other Weyrs had per Turn.

Now Valkoran looked more serious. "And here's another tidbit. It says that caravanfolk are akin to renegades, stealing and killing. Now you know that isn't true. But if this is the information some in this weyr are operating on, no wonder they had a cold welcome from a good portion of Dark Moon." Valkoran remembered how many of the people at Dark Moon had reacted to the caravan: some had kept their distance; some had looked on in fear; others had hidden their children away. "I think they're associating the two together because both groups travel and never really settle." He sat back and crossed his arms ehind his head. "Anyway, I thought that might be interesting to you." He watched Jessa's face to gauge her reaction.

[maira]

Jessa was not to get her distraction any time soon she realized when Valkoran got up to go get another scroll for her to look at. When he brought it back and laid it out for her to look at Jessa scanned it quickly. When he pointed out that the people of the caravan's were associated with Renegades Jessa gave an annoyed huff. "People are so stupid sometimes, judging what they don't know! Caravanfolk most certainly are NOTHING like Renegades. The whole time I was with them they never once stole anything, and they saved a small child from drowning in a river. That's the closest thing to death I saw while I was among them and it was to prevent it not cause it!"

Her sudden flair in temper surprised Jessalyn but she didn't try to calm it either. This was a justified rage even if it was nothing she could do about it. It just suddenly explained why so many people in the Weyr looked at her askance. They associated her with the Caravan and the Caravan's with Renegades.

Standing up so abruptly that her chair tipped over backwards, Jessa started pacing the library as she thought. Finally she turned her attention back to Valkoran, who was now watching her warily, and she asked angrily, "Is that why I've not been able to make any friends among the other Candidates? Is that why people will barely acknowledge me? Because I 'came' from the Caravan? They've never even stopped to ask if I was actually part of the Caravan or not, they just assume it and in doing so they assume I'm a renegade!" Her anger had gottent he better of her and Jessa's normally calm demeanor was suddenly on the verge of shattering. Her eyes were full of unshed tears and her face was set firmly. Maybe she should have stayed with the caravan after all...

[Kandarra]

Valkoran sat, mute, as Jessalyn burst out with anger. He was rooted to his seat; he'd never seen her like this before. He watched her pace, still not daring move, and listened to her patiently. When it seemed she had finished, he got up and walked calmly over to her. He took her by the shoulders and waited until she was looking straight at her.

"I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that coming here and leaving the caravan was a mistake." He pulled her into a hug, and not sure how she'd feel about a hug right then, stepped right back. He looked her straight in the eye and said, "It wasn't." He paused to emphasize that point. "Did the Weyrwoman seem to worry about who you traveled with?" He barely saw her shake her head no. "Did Uslanee seem to worry about who you traveled with?" Again, a barely perceptible headshake. "Did I seem to worry about who you traveled with?" He didn't wait for her headshake on that one. "The answer is no to all three of those. The Weyrwoman and Uslanee are some of the fairest, most honest, most wise women I know in this weyr. They know the difference between renegades and caravanfolk."

He paused. "As for the other Candidates, I don't know. They may not come to you because they are sticking to who they know. Maybe they are worried about making friends. But I doubt very much," he said with a gentle firmness in his voice, "that they don't come because of who you traveled with and befriended. Okay?" He looked hopefully into her dark blue eyes and squeezed her wrist.

[maira]

As quickly as it had come, Jessa's anger dissipated. It had gone the moment Valkoran had taken her in his arms. It was a brief hug but a hug all the same and she was sadly dissappointed when it ended so quickly.

What was wrong with her?!

Between her sudden flair in temper and her strange thoughts about Valkoran, Jessa wasn't sure she was at all well. She had to be sick or something. She was never this emotional about anything! Well, except maybe when she was happy about something, but that was completely different.

As her friend asked her questions and Jessa answered with a shake of her head, she wasn't paying overly much attention to his words. She heard them yes (after all she answered them) but they didn't quite register. Instead she was thinking about Valkoran and how different she felt for him now compared to when they had lived in the Runner Hold together... There they were just friends. She hadn't felt any of these odd things then. Now they were still friends but there was so much more she didn't understand going on between them.

When he finally quit talking and he squeezed her wrist, Jessa snapped out of her thoughts and looked at Valkoran curiously. Seeing the concern and care in his eyes her heart melted. Did he feel for her the way she was still trying to deny he felt for her? Only one way to find out.... Without any warning, Jessa took the single step that separated them and leaned into Valkoran, slipping her arms about his waist and squeezing ever so gently. *Please let him hug me back, please let him hold me....* she thought to herself, while at the same time chiding herself for being so silly.

[Kandarra]

When Jessalyn looked up from whatever ponderings she'd been having, Valkoran smiled. He watched her expression change from confused to curious to... he didn't know what that expression was. But he had no time to wonder, because just then she moved closer and slipped her arms around his waist, leaning into him. He was baffled for a moment, then did what he'd wanted to do for a long time: he wrapped his arms oh so gently around Jessa and leaned his head on hers.

He didn't know if he should be doing this; his heart beat fast and he worked to stay steady. But it felt so good, to have her in his arms... They fit together comfortably, both of them having tall frames. He felt the strange urge to kiss her hair, but didn't. Instead he stood there and held her, and she didn't move away.

[maira]

Valkoran didn't react right away and Jessa thought she had scared him with her boldness. Then, she felt his arms wrap around her and his head lean on hers and her whole body wanted to jump for joy. Either he was being a really good friend, comforting his poor distraught friend or he cared for her too! At this point Jessa didn't really care which it was, she was just incredibly, rediculously happy.

Being that happy was an emotion she was familiar with expressing, Jessa didn't hesitate to squeeze him tighter momentarily and she turned her face up to look at him, her eyes seeking out his. He looked as happy as she did and before she could loose her nerve, Jessa leaned up and pressed her lips into his for one sweet moment before pulling back. Immediately her eyes sought out his again and this time hers were filled with questions. Was what she had done okay? Did he care for her? Was she being the silly child her mind was sure she was being?

All of those questions and more raced through Jessa's mind as she stood there staring up into Valkoran's amazingly pale grey eyes. Anybody who said light eyes couldn't express emotion were dead wrong, his eyes were full of emotion. Jessa just didn't know quite how to interpret it....

[Kandarra]

Valkoran felt Jess squeeze tighter and he warmed to her even more; but before he could hold her closer, she had pulled away. He caught her eyes, and in them he saw a reflection of his own expression: pure and unbelievable joy. He began to lean forward to touch his forehead to hers, but she had already begun to move. He felt her lips touch his and for a moment he was completely lost in the brief kiss and he didn't care.

When he opened his eyes, not realizing at first that he'd closed them, Jessa was searching them. He didn't know for what at first, and then he thought about what he would be looking for: approval. He laughed a soft, gentle laugh and cradled her cheek in one of his long-fingered hands. He then pulled her closer to him. Valkoran traced her brow, her jawline, and her lips before placing his cheek next to hers. He thanked Faranth that she almost surely felt the same about him as he did her, and closed his eyes, savoring the moment.

When he finally opened his eyes again, Jessa's forehead was touching his. He looked into her impossibly deep, dark blue eyes and felt a peace emanate from them. He moved himself the little it would take to reach her lips, and touched them with his own, lingering for longer than she had.

[maira]

If his soft laugh hadn't been accompanied by his hand cradling her cheek, Jessa would have been worried that he was laughing at her. The feel of his hand on her cheek, and then his fingers tracing along the lines of her face sent little shivers through her whole body.

Her eyes had closed as Valkoran's fingers had explored her face, they only opened again when she felt his forhead come to rest against hers. Looking into Valkoran's grey eyes again she felt so wonderfully, amazingly comfortable even though she was still trying to figure out how could she feel this way about her best friend...

She was about to take a step away from him, try and figure out what she had brought on herself, on both of them, by kissing him, when she saw him move and she felt his lips on hers. All her worries dissappeared with that gentle touch. Despite the few misgivings she'd had the moment before, Jessa reached her arms up around Valkoran's neck and tangled her fingers in his hair, holding him closer to her.

When they finally parted, Jessa's heart was beating so fast she could barely believe it. Looking up into Valkoran's grey eyes again she smiled at him and whispered his name, "Valkoran...." No other words managed to come out but his name, Jessa's mind was racing with so many different thought she didn't know where to even start....

[Kandarra]

Valkoran took a deep breath to try and slow his heart, which was beating so rapidly he didn't know how it was still going. He stood there for a moment after Jessa said his name, just smiling into her eyes and thinking about how inviting her lips were. However, other thoughts managed to cross his mind: how had this happened? what had changed so suddenly? was their friendship going to be affected? And most of all... was he going to be able to hold her again, or was this a just-once happening? Valkoran found these difficult to voice, but he tried anyway, feeling rather hoarse and out of breath.

"I uh--" he cleared his throat-- "that, ah..." He smiled at his inability to speak, remembering with a thrill what had happened. He took Jessa's hand instead, kissing it. After waiting a moment, he tried again. "I, ah... you... so." He blushed, still not sure what to say.

[maira]

Seeing Valkoran as flustered as she felt made Jessa feel so much better. She'd been worried, well about the obvious things. Hearing him stutter while he smiled at her was reassuring and comforting.

Not wanting him to struggle too much with his words Jessa spoke for him, "I kissed you, you kissed me back. So what's next?" At least she gathered he had wanted to say something like that based on his most recent attempt to speak.

Untangling one of her hands from the hair at the nape of his neck, Jessa trailed the back side of her fingers along his jaw and down his neck until her hand came to rest on his chest just above his heart. With a smile on her face she asked, "How long have you felt this way? I think I've felt it for a long time but I only just realized it a short time ago..." Her voice trailed off but she never took her eyes from his.

[Kandarra]

Valkoran felt relieved as Jessa spoke; he had no idea what to say and he sure hadn't felt he could say it. He smiled at her words.

"I think I have too," he replied, his voice still a little shaky. "We were working with Dancer one morning, and suddenly..." He blushed, pausing before continuing. "Suddenly everything you did was beautiful." He reddened even more. "But I think I felt this way when you first got here, a little. And then at the Clutching..." He smiled a shy smile and put his hand over Jessa's. "I don't know what's next. I was wondering myself."

Thoughts of what would happen after the Hatching plagued him in a rush. Would this last? Would they Impress? If they did, would they become weyrmates, eventually? And what would they do during the no-sexual contact period all weyrlings go through?

Stop, he told himself. You're worrying yourself and thinking too far ahead. You don't know if either of you are going to Impress. He looked back to Jessalyn, and it had the calming effect he had hoped: the worries faded to the back of his mind and he came back to the here and now, where he had kissed a beautiful girl who he cared for very much.

[maira]

Since Valkoran had no answers for her, Jessa just smiled at him and shook her head before asking with a laugh, "What are we going to do if neither of us know what happens next?" Only after she asked that did the question actually sink in. What would they do? Just keep acting like friends, act like nothing happened? How could they? Amid the dust and scrolls, she had kissed him and he had kissed her back. There was no denying what had happened, it couldn't be an accident since he kissed her back...

Working up some bits of courage she didn't know she had, Jessa looked Valkoran in the eyes and asked, "What do you want to happen?" She was scared to tell him what she wanted but she kept on talking before her courage ran out. "I don't want us to pretend nothing happened, I couldn't live with that. We're more than old enough to start thinking about our future, goodness knows how many times my mother tried to shove me at some boy or another back home... If we're allowed to choose Valkoran, you're the man I choose." Oh shards, what was she saying?! She knew she meant everything she said but she hadn't known she'd even felt it until it was out. She did want Valkoran to be the man in her life, more than she'd wanted most things in her life, and that crystal clear knowledge was a bit intimidating. She wouldn't back down from her words though or change her mind. She'd said her piece and she hoped he felt the same and that she hadn't just scared him away.

[Kandarra]

"Well, I don't know," he replied truthfully, tucking some of her errant hair behind her ear gently. "I don't know what we do." As he played with her fingers, not knowing what to say, he wondered that himself. He knew what he wanted... but now? So soon? ...But he was sure. But was that what was next?

Before he had to sort out all the 'but's in his head, Jessalyn spoke, and as each word registered, he was less and less able to believe his ears. She was echoing his thoughts. He wanted her to be his. He wanted to spend cold nights huddled under the stars with her, train runners with her, and, if Faranth allowed, fight Thread with her. She was the one and only woman in his life that he could imagine spending his time with; she listened to him, and not with that look in her eye that said she thought he was crazy.

He was speechless for a moment, but found his voice. "Yes. I mean, I choose you, too. I couldn't pretend it hasn't happened, and... and I won't." There was a resolve in that word that one rarely heard in his voice.

[maira]

She'd been prepared for the worst and was very pleasantly knocked, figuratively, on her ass by the determination in Valkoran's voice when he said he wanted her too. Stunned into silence, Jessa just looked up at the man who was holding her oh so tenderly and she just stared at him with a bemused grin turning up one corner of her mouth. "You do?" she finally asked, wanting to make sure she'd heard him right and not that she'd imagined him saying what she wanted to hear.

Her heart was racing and her mind was going wild with all the possible futures for the two of them as a couple. Oh shards, them as a couple! She wanted to scream and shout and jump around she was so happy. Only, one, they were in the library, and two, she had nobody to tell that would get excited and go all girly with her... Oh well, that was her life right now. She just hoped that eventually some of the other female candidates would warm up to her. For now she'd just revel in the wonderful feeling that swept through her body with each beat of her heart.

[Kandarra]

Valkoran grinned. "Yes, I do." He grinned bigger, which hurt his face, almost, but he didn't care. He was too amused watching her: Jessa seemed to be trying to explode with nowhere to go. He, himself, was insanely happy and it showed in his eyes; they crinkled and a glint could be seen.