|
|
Post by Kandarra on Feb 1, 2010 21:06:55 GMT -5
Orena was speaking, but Jeri wasn't really listening. She was trying to, but the other girl's face had suddenly gotten really close and all she saw was green eyes in a sea of wavy black hair. She imagined it would make a great sketch, with the eyes so prominent and staring so worriedly. But that was a passing thought, and her mind quickly reverted to panic. All she could think was that Orena was too close, far too close for comfort, and she had to fix it.
If you asked her later why, exactly, she thought kissing her was going to fix that, she wouldn't have an answer. It didn't make sense to her logical mind. Yet she found herself leaning in to where the girl's head rested on her shoulder, almost as if she were being drawn in against her will, and before she could take hold of her senses, she had touched her lips to the other girl's. She drew back almost immediately, realizing the rashness of her actions, and gazed with her own worried stare at Orena. What had she just done? What if she'd just messed up everything? All she could do was stare uncertainly as she waited for a reaction.
|
|
|
|
Post by Marnark’tranarprol on Feb 1, 2010 23:01:04 GMT -5
Time seemed to freeze for a moment. Or at least go into a slow crawl. It was certainly not something Orena had been looking for, to get herself suddenly kissed. She blanked out completely from surprise and shock for the moment, before her faculties got back with it again. Jerking upright, eyes wide, she just stared at Jerodyn ... before howling and ducking her head forward after bouncing the back of her head off the wall behind her. She spent a moment rubbing her head, before straightening again and looking at Jerodyn again, with the most curious expression on her face.
"Jeri?" She asked, plainly confused. She glanced at her fingertips, but in seeing that she was not bleeding she returned her hands to her lap.
|
|
|
|
Post by Kandarra on Feb 2, 2010 0:01:46 GMT -5
Watching fearfully as Orena seemed to have no reaction, Jeri was startled herself when the other girl suddenly rocketed backwards.... and hit her head on the wall. "Oh shards!" she exclaimed, reaching out to steady her friend's head. But then she realized that, after that reaction, Orena probably didn't want to be near her at the moment, so she dropped her hands mid-gesture. "I.. I'm sorry," she said dejectedly, turning her head away so that her hair hid her paled visage. "I didn't think.. I'm so sorry. I just.." She trailed off, not sure she was going to be able to do anything but babble her apologies just now.
As she avoided Orena's strange look, she cursed herself inwardly. She just had to go and do something stupid like that. She had pretty much been a loner until she'd met Orena, and she was finding that she liked having a friend. She had made her feel welcome. And now she had potentially reversed all that. I'm such a sharding idiot, she thought bitterly. I go and kiss the first girl that shows any interest in being my friend. And I thought so highly of my intellect. She drew her legs up against her chest, fighting the urge to run. She had never run from anything important in her life, and she was not going to start now, but boy did she want to right this moment.
She shook herself mentally. This was not her. She, Jerodyn, Apprentice Weaver, acted with dignity, and self-awareness, and purpose. She un-curled her legs and took a deep breath. She had already said most of what she had to say, so now.. she had acted, and she had to take responsibility for those actions. Slowly she turned her head and peeked out from behind the curtain of shoulder-length brown hair. "Is.." she began, having to clear her throat a bit. "Is your head okay?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Marnark’tranarprol on Feb 2, 2010 20:23:13 GMT -5
Jerodyn was all over the place, suddenly, and Orena couldn't hardly keep up with the changes in temperament. As hyper as Orena was, she tended to actually have a fairly stable mood. She just watched Jerodyn for a time, before smiling slightly, trying to reassure her friend, calm her down.
"Heyyyyy, it's alright!" Orena insisted, taking Jerodyn's hands and stilling them for a moment. "I'm not hurt, in any way, shape, or form." She assured her, gently. Releasing one of Jerodyn's hands, she reached up to brush her brown hair back, tucking it behind her ear. "Are you going to be okay?" came the gentle question, before Orena leaned in close and oh-so-lightly kissed Jerodyn's cheek.
|
|
|
|
Post by Kandarra on Feb 3, 2010 12:01:28 GMT -5
Oh, she was confused. The same girl that had just banged her head against the wall trying to get away, had kissed her cheek? She nodded mutely in response, trying to puzzle the other girl's reactions out. She was rather suspicious, and she didn't even know why. She searched Orena's face for some kind of answer, wondering what she was or wasn't supposed to do now. That was what she was looking for: rules of conduct, or boundaries. Those were comforting and certain.
After a moment she realized that they were going to have to make their own rules, so to speak. There wasn't anyone here to tell them what to do. But to do that, she was going to have to talk about things she didn't want to talk about, like feelings and uncertainties, things she considered private. She grimaced.
Noticeably uncomfortable doing so, she admitted, "I don't know how to act now, and I don't know how you want me to act. I would feel better if I knew how you felt."
|
|
|
|
Post by Marnark’tranarprol on Feb 3, 2010 15:08:49 GMT -5
Orena's brows went up again. "How I feel? About what, exactly?" She asked. "Cause my butt cheeks are getting a tad chilly from sitting on the stone ... not to mention a bit flat." She noted, cheerfully. It was a joke, but also trying to clarify that Jerodyn needed to be more specific if she wanted meaningful answers out of Orena. Instead of random flailing and making herself ... or maybe the both of them ... look and feel utterly stupid.
"And why do you look so worried? You look like you're afraid I might discover some ghastly dark secret. I am pretty sure you didn't kill anyone, so it can't be that ..." Orena said, sitting back and returning her own hands to her own lap, giving Jerodyn the personal space she was apparently needing at the moment. Jerodyn was not the only one that was confused, that was for sure! They seemed to be doing a really awkward dance around each other, all without ever moving from their seats. It was most odd, to be sure.
|
|
|
|
Post by Kandarra on Feb 3, 2010 15:19:38 GMT -5
Orena's response exacted an exasperated sigh from Jeri. She was trying, she really was, but human interaction was not her strong point. Obviously, she thought wryly, taking a deep breath.
"I meant about me kissing you. And.. and I just don't wanna mess this up!" she exclaimed. "You're my only real friend here. I'm not used to having them. But I like it." Despite the seriousness of her words, her mouth turned up a bit at the corner. "And no, I didn't kill anyone." She paused, then continued, "If I tried, they would probably just end up with a black eye, and laugh." It was true. She had never been a fighter, so she was lacking in experience throwing a punch, much less actually trying to off someone.
|
|
|
|
Post by Marnark’tranarprol on Feb 3, 2010 15:37:53 GMT -5
" ... oh." Orena offered. And that was all that came out of her for a time, as she tried to figure out just what she was feeling, so she could answer. Because, at the moment, her feelings were all messed up too. She didn't know ... she was confused on the inside. Jerodyn ... Jerodyn was a girl. Girls weren't supposed to kiss girls. Er ... unless it was like a momma kissing a baby. But, still ... that was most definitely not a momma-baby kiss. But on the other hand, Orena couldn't say as she truly protested the idea. She liked Jerodyn a lot. Orena had been at the Weyr longer than Jerodyn, sure, but Jerodyn was special ... also, Orena's first friend and companion in a strange, new place. She knew she definitely liked Jerodyn a lot more than Kegin... that boy just completely creeped her out. But but but ... Jeri was a girl!
Orena grimaced a bit, and wiggled in place, before finally sighing. "I don't know. I ... I ... I don't know? I'm confused." She admitted. Back home, at the hold ... girls didn't kiss girls. It just ... didn't happen.
|
|
|
|
Post by Kandarra on Feb 3, 2010 17:02:44 GMT -5
Jeri was disheartened at the other girl's response, but it was interesting. Orena seemed out of her element, something that Jerodyn hadn't observed in her before. So she really is confused, she mused, wondering what exactly that meant. She was confused about it herself, in that she wondered when exactly she had started thinking about Orena in that way. Oh, she knew she could be interested in girls, but it hadn't really come to this before.
She was struck with inspiration-- Orena had never considered girls as a possibility. She'd said she was holdbred, so that made sense; people weren't as open to talking about that kind of thing in holds, at least in her experience. She, herself, had gotten a sharp reprimand from her father at mentioning it, once. So this was new to her, which explained why she was confused.
"Okay.." she began slowly, not sure what to say, exactly. "Um.. is there anything I can do to.. er.. unconfuse you?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Marnark’tranarprol on Feb 3, 2010 21:53:23 GMT -5
"uhhhhhhh ... I dunno? Maybe? Uhm. No, I don't know. I'm just ... I ... " Orena scratched her head, and then laced her fingers together a bit, suddenly showing a decidedly shy and uncertain side to herself. "I guess ... whatever you want to say?" She asked, meeting Jerodyn's gaze again. "I just don't ... know."
It was all so very weird, and she had no basis for thought on any of it. Yeah, Jerodyn was a pretty girl, but Orena couldn't help but feel very ... unclean ... in even thinking that sort of thing in the ways which she was suddenly finding herself thinking it in. It was ... disturbing, when thought of in the ways that she was raised. And Orena didn't know what to do about it either.
|
|
|
|
Post by Kandarra on Feb 3, 2010 22:43:18 GMT -5
As she watched Orena fidget and stutter, Jeri melted. She looked so uncertain, like a child, and Jeri just wanted to kiss it and make it better. Well, perhaps that's not the right approach just now, she thought, and surprisingly, a giggle threatened to bubble up. She fought it, because this was a terribly inappropriate time to laugh, but she found that she was so tense and the thought had struck her as so ironic that she couldn't stop it, and she ended up throwing her head back and laughing. It was a warm, full laugh, originating from the belly, and soon tears were streaming from her eyes.
"Oh.. Orena.." she gasped, "I thought.. I thought.." And she couldn't get any more out until a minute later, when she'd managed to pull in a deep breath. "I'm not laughing at you, I swear," she said, still giggling a little. She took one last big breath and let it out noisily. Once she felt settled, she reached out and squeezed Orena's hand.
"To be serious.. just go with what you feel. If it feels right, do it, if it doesn't, don't." She looked meaningfully into the other girl's eyes. "And if you need to figure out how you feel, then take your time. It took me a while to figure it out, too."
|
|
|
|
Post by Marnark’tranarprol on Feb 3, 2010 22:55:56 GMT -5
The laughter ... was definitely not expected. But the genuine nature of it, it was heart swelling to be sure and she couldn't help but smile in response to it. Laughter really did heal the soul of all ailments, though she'd never needed such a balm before. Tilting her head to the side a bit, Orena's smile grew a tad more, even as she tried to figure out what was so funny. Thankfully, whatever it was, it did a world for Jerodyn, bringing her back to being the girl that Orena knew. Good, good!
She looked down when her hand was taken, and then she looked up at Jerodyn's face again, a smile flickering on her features. "With what I feel?" She asked, with a small laugh. "I feel confused. I like you ... I like you a lot, I really do ... I've never had a better or closer friend." She smiled tentatively, before leaning toward Jerodyn. Touching shoulder to shoulder, she reached over with her free hand to touch the open pages of the sketches. "I take it you think the same?" She looked up at Jerodyn's face, and realized that she was awfully close again - the last time she'd done that she'd gotten kissed. Though ... was it the proximity that had prompted that, or was it some other random reaction?
|
|
|
|
Post by Kandarra on Feb 4, 2010 21:25:39 GMT -5
Jeri smiled and looked down slightly. "Yeah," she said simply. Orena was close again, but now there were clear, set rules, such as: don't kiss her unless she wants you to. So she didn't; she simply enjoyed sitting there with her, relieved that the other girl hadn't run away and was still comfortable being around her. She wondered if she should let go of Orena's hand, but decided to see how long it took for her to pull away. She leaned a bit into Orena's shoulder and sighed.
Okay, so she hadn't gotten the alone time she'd been looking for, and there had been some emotional discomfort, but overall Jeri was happy with the way this had turned out. She was the kind of person who just enjoyed being with someone she cared about, whether they talked or not, so she sat comfortably in the few moments of silence following her reply.
|
|
|
|
Post by Marnark’tranarprol on Feb 4, 2010 22:15:04 GMT -5
"Are you shy?" Orena asked, suddenly. "You are! You're shy! I didn't know Jeri could be shy!" Orena marveled, giggling and giving Jerodyn a hug. "Don't be shy. This is me. Not some random stranger. You can tell me anything you want to tell me. I won't bite!" She assured her, getting very close to being back to her usual self. It was hard for her to not be her usual self, because, well ... her usual self was her normal, easiest to be, ... usual self.
"Why are you being so twitchy?
Admin's Note:[/hr]" Orena asked, additionally. "I am confused, you are confused, and you keep acting like you expect me to hit you." She peaked her eyebrows, then stuffed her bottom lip out a bit in a mock pout. "I won't hurt you."
|
|
|
|
Post by Kandarra on Feb 10, 2010 23:14:20 GMT -5
"I'm not shy," Jeri protested, "I'm just.. not as talkative as you are. Although," she giggled, "that's a bit of an understatement." She suppressed a smile, though the corners of her mouth were turned up a bit. She'd never met anyone as talkative as Orena.
Turning serious, she continued with hesitation, "I'm not an open person. I.. I'm not good at being social. I'm used to being in a room with a loom and designs most of the time. Classes are-- were-- intense, and there was very little interaction." She pursed her lips, her brow creasing. "And so when something happens, something awkward, or new, I don't always know what to do. And I'm.. a cautious person." She breathed deeply after what was, for her, a speech, and a very revealing one. "So if I'm nervous about something, that's probably why."
|
|
|
|
Post by Marnark’tranarprol on Feb 10, 2010 23:28:51 GMT -5
Orena giggled when Jerodyn did, glad to see the lighter expression in her friend. "A bit." She agreed, cheerfully. But when She tried to suppress her smile, Orena reached up and tried to poke the smile back into place. "Don't squelch good feelings. It's unhealthy." She said, with an actual serious expression on. But she only did it for a moment, removing her fingers from the corners of Jerodyn's mouth to set them back in her own lap.
She did listen intently to any and everything Jerodyn had to say, trying to understand what it was that was trying to be revealed. Finally, Orena offered a tentative smile. "You can practice on me? You're so serious all the time ... do you know how to have fun? To be cheerful?" She prompted. "When was the last time you did anything spontaneous ... for the heck of it?" Orena asked, intently. Spontaneity was something that Orena did really well - of course it was usually how she got into trouble, too, but oh well. It wouldn't do to tell Jerodyn that part!
|
|
|
|
Post by Kandarra on Feb 18, 2010 19:26:12 GMT -5
"Oh, just because I look serious and think serious things doesn't mean I'm not cheerful or content," Jeri said with slight frustration, though it wasn't at Orena, not really. It was simply something that she had heard so many times, like the remarks about her name. 'Why don't you smile, aren't you happy?' Her mother and plenty of others at her hold had often asked her things like that.
"Like I said, I'm just not an open person about emotions, and my face is my face. I don't do spontaneous things because I like routine, and consistency. They are comfortable for me." Her eyes darted down a moment before she said, "Kissing you was probably the most spontaneous thing I've ever done."
|
|
|
|
Post by Marnark’tranarprol on Feb 26, 2010 18:23:05 GMT -5
Orena leaned toward her, and bumped her shoulder. "You hide it well, then, you you. And I don't like that. How am I to know what you are thinking if you hide it from me so deep down that no one can see it? What is wrong with letting the world know that you are happy, huh? Or, or or ... hehehe ... just grin occasionally. It's fun! You know why? Cause then it makes people wonder what it was you just did or what it is you are gonna do. Makes them worry, y'know?" She sat straight and winked at her, grinning herself.
"You'll have to get used to these things, emotions. Cause I bet you'll feel a lot of them before you die. Spontaneous is fun, too ... ohmy! Are you serious?! Wuuuuullllllll ... did you like it? Was it fun?" She asked.
|
|
|
|
Post by Kandarra on Feb 26, 2010 18:59:36 GMT -5
"If I want you to know what I am thinking, I will tell you," Jeri said simply, wondering how else it was supposed to work. "And I'm not hiding it, I'm just not that way." She struggled to find the right words. "When I feel something... like happiness... it's enough for me to know that I feel it. I don't need to 'show the world'. And when I want to share it with someone, I will. But I usually don't."
She glared half-heartedly at Orena at the 'emotions' comment. Then she blushed. "Well, yes... I did. But I don't think it was because it was spontaneous." In fact, she knew it wasn't, but she wasn't about to say that.
|
|
|
|
Post by Marnark’tranarprol on Feb 26, 2010 22:54:38 GMT -5
"Awwww, but that makes you look so sad all the time!" Orena protested. "It's okay to show a little bit of what is shining inside, you know..." She prodded Jerodyn with a finger. "Really, really." She nodded firmly, to reinforce that concept. But that expression faded fast, as she tilted her head to one side. Apparently, she had picked up fast on things unsaid in Jerodyn's words.
"Oh?" She asked, simply, as if prompting for more revelation. It was plain she knew there was more to it, now that Jerodyn had spilled that little kernel.
|
|
