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Post by mc16neo on Dec 26, 2009 2:50:44 GMT -5
Veran didn't interupt her. He listened and then looked at her. "Yes you were stupid. You were a fool. Rogin had promoted you from a drudge when you walked away from kegin but now I doubt he will let you so easily. It was Konta's idea to let that be your test and we all thought you passed but then you had to be rash. When I saw him working on you I was terrified for the second time of my life and it was for you. I was afraid for you." Veran looked at her and sighed and shook his head. "Think before you act. We don't need information to think you are useful. We need smart members in our family."
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Post by Drgnwlf71 on Dec 26, 2009 3:15:39 GMT -5
Tali couldn't do it. "shells, this rage!" She threw her knife away as it clanged against the stone wall of the cave. "I don't want to be a drudge anymore. I'm sick of this shards, Veran. Everyday its the same thing over and over again. I know how to do it. I was smart enough to walk away but then my fecking ego got a hold of me. I thought I could take him on my own, by myself. Big dreams. I'm going to bed. You obviously aren't very happy with my performance today." She approached him. "Veran, please look at me. I am going to talk to Rogin and make my apologies and what see I can do to fix this. If my life ends because of what I did today, I just want to let you know that I love you." She caressed his cheek and gave him a quick kiss. She walked out the door and the cave. She went to see Rogin. She knocked on his door.
"Sir? It's uh--It's Tali." She sighed with a big sigh. Her voice was low and soft. Not like the Talavi just the other day. She knew this would mean trouble for her but she had to be brave,
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Post by mc16neo on Dec 26, 2009 15:39:51 GMT -5
The door opened but it was Konta who answered. He moved aside and led her to Rogin. Both men were neither happy nor pleased with seeing her. Rogin looked up at her and his eyes were different then normal. Of course they always looked like he would rip your heart out but they always had a kind of hope in them that he might not kill you. but this time there was no hope. Rogin looked at her with only anger. He didn't stand when he saw her he only sat in his chair.
"What were you thinking?" he asked. "What made you think in that tiny mind of yours that you stood a chance. He is my brother. He deals with me and the others on a basis. Do you not think he has learned a trick to staying alive? That the scars were the only price to pay to live? Kegin is not a fool. He wishes to trust people and it might have worked to your plan but as you can see like we have done you have underestemeted him. Now give me a reason why you still should live? What makes you think I want someone in the Family that puts themselves over the good of the family. You didn't approach my brother to help us. You did it to help yourself!" Rogin only raised his voice on the last statement. Even if nobody beieved it this was his real family and he really did care for them.
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Post by Drgnwlf71 on Dec 26, 2009 18:19:21 GMT -5
"Sir, we all don't deserve to live but we are here, aren't we? I was was stupid, yes...a fool, yes but dumb? Hardly. The reason why. I did it to please you. You don't know what its like to be me. I thought you didn't want me around so I went up against Kegin. I knew it was suicide. I was to die by his hands so you wouldn't have to do it yourself. I have failed you time and time again. Rogin. You wouldn't have to deal with me if you would have just leave me to die. I can not stand disappointing you again." Tali was quiet for a few moments and thought. She chose her words carefully. "I would die for you and everyone else here. That's why I failed. Everytime I get upset or angry, I fly off the handle and I can't control it. It's scary. If you think for one minute I would let you take my life, you are GRAVELY mistaken. I had time to think about what I have done. I would gladly sacrifice myself if it meant to keeping the Family alive. I still hurt but I came here, afriad but I came because I owe it to myself, to everyone. I see your look and I know it spells death. I know. You deserve a girl like Tia, not me. "
"I work for you until my hands bleed and you want to take my life away? Who gave me the will to live? It wasn't Konta, nor Veran or Tia. No, it was YOU. You gave me something to live for. I can't leave. I will NOT go down with a fight." She started to pace the floor. The old Talavi was back; confident and strong. "Tell me, would you have risked your life to save mine? By that look, tells me that you wouldn't. I am afriad of you and not so I can't talk. I came here because I owe you something. My love and my loyalty. I hate the way I am. Always impulsive, always on the run. Please, give me one more chance. I promise that I will never go against you again. Punish me but don't take my life. If there's one thing I learned, its the way I handle things and not always best way and I need to look for help. You're right. I would gladly sacrifice my life of the good of the family."
She approached and knelt down before him. "I was rash. That's how I get when I get protective over you, Konta or anyone else in this Family. You are wrong threating my life. I am one of the best shells things that ever happened to you. I am different. Odd but different." She chuckled. "I am not fool, Rogin. I knew what I was doing. Am I worth nothing to you? What, you keep me around just for a good feck? The Renegade whore!
Admin's Note:[/hr] Is that all I am to you!
Admin's Note:[/hr] That explains why you haven't done anything with me, yet." She sighed. "I know how to fight and I don't need you or anyone else to tell me otherwise. Who do you think you are threatening MY LIFE when it is MINE to do with as I please? Do you know what your brother said about you? He said that all you care about is yourself. I am not going to stand around and wait for him to strike us down. I did something today and even though I failed, it felt like a acomplished something. I can see now why you fear your brother."
"I lost Veran already. He won't even look at me. If he does, its full of hatred. I have nothing else to live for. I feel like crying right now but I can't. I can't because I have no tears left. I won't because it's a weakness that your enemy will prey upon. You and Konta taught me that. If you take my life, I will -not- go down with a fight, sir. I will not attack, even provoked. I could have handled that better but I didn't. I have went through my mind and I should have walked away and let it be. Every lesson you gave me, I have learned from. I have so much to offer you. I have my looks, my knives, love and my life."
"It was my first real battle. It was a bad judgement on my part and I do apologize. I can not use my knives if I have not the skill. I am inexperienced and I shouldn't have done what I did. Yes, I was stupid and a fool but doesn't anger make you do stupid and foolish things? That is why you must never act upon fear or anger, to never give in to hate. Its so hard not to. I came from a family that didn't care weather I lived or died and right now I feel that way. Please, Rogin. I don't want to die. I believe all life is sacred and human life is too no matter how evil or how good. I will kill on command, sir with no complaints."
"I still feel like there something missing in my life and if you decided to end mine, I will never find what that something is and I need to. I need to feel complete again but once I find it, I will be unstoppable. I'm not going to beg for mercy or plead for you to spare me. I have come a long way and I'm not that little girl who you saved a month ago. I have changed. A LOT. I knew it would be trouble coming here but I had to. To give you my explaination. You want my dead? Fine. Everyone else wants me that way."
"Just three days ago, I overheard my mother talking to some guy. It must have been a bounty hunter because he carried a bow and arrow, two knives and a-a sword and he was dressed in baggy clothes. My mother has a hit on me and I don't like it. My own mother wants me dead."
Tali sighed and dared to look at Rogin in the eye. She cringed. That look...it was so icy cold. "If I must go, might as well be by your hand." She exposed her heart. "Make it swift."
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Post by mc16neo on Dec 27, 2009 17:17:41 GMT -5
Rogin watched her and kept quiet. But that is what he did. He would wait for her to be finished. But he was getting angrier. He was beginning to want to react on his anger but she was right. It was foolish to act on anger. It made you act stupid and without planning he would be dead. But he was in his home. Nothing to fear. He slammed his fists onto the table and stood so quickly his chair fell behind him. "ENOUGH! You do not know anything of me. I was givin up to not a father, but to another family that loveds to beat me and abuse me. You were kept in your family." His voice was harsh and he was yelling. "I killed my foster Father and then I meant Konta. With him I started this new family. My real family."
"I attacked a Trading Caravan where my mother and father were reported to me traveling with them. Then once the attack began I killed them myself. My little brother hid under a wagon near by and saw me. I tried to kill him because they wanted him over me. But I lost him and he was taken to the weyr. From that day i have tried to always kill him myself. I have left my marks on him but he still lives." Rogin at this point was seething. HIs eyes were on the virge of tears.
"This is my family. I am proud to have all of them. That includes you. You are my family. I gave you the will to live so you would do anything to do so. That is the Family I want. To sacrifice itself for the others. But want to live so bad that they can do it over and over again. Just as I would kill to keep you safe!" he pointed at her. "I would live to keep doing it again and again. We are strong. I wanted you to learn. The drudge is to learn the very answer to your problem. Tia has learned it. The day she saved my life she worried about you. That is why she was taken out of Drudge. Because when she was hurt she wanted you happy. Just as any sister would. Do you understand?"
By this point Rogin had calmed down. He took a breath and sighed. His eyes even began to soften. "Talavi look at it as I see it. You are a drudge because you have not learned your leason. Until you do you will be one. Understood?"
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Post by Drgnwlf71 on Dec 27, 2009 18:06:26 GMT -5
She wanted to run the other way but she fought the urge.
"It hurts me to see you like this, Rogin. You don't think any of your tears affect me? I want to cry with you. You saved me and I was a bi* to you and all the others. Thinking for myself and not caring for the Family, or myself. I'm not ready, dear Rogin. I am not ready to be out of this Rank. I do have feelings. They are hidden deep. I have to learn to care about others again and that's hard for me. I have so much anger inside that I just want to explode but I don't. Yes, I think I finally understand. I come from a family that didn't care, didn't want me. Just like you, I attacked one of my own to be free. The only difference was that you had the strength to kill yours. You made me who I am, Rogin. Nothing can take that away." Her eyes were soft, caring and even compassionate. Not the cold, unforgiven eyes that Rogin was used to seeing. She got up and approached him and put her head in his lap. "I do love you, Rogin." She looked up and kissed him on the cheek. She sighed.
"I know now what what angry does to a person. It hurts them. I almost died today. This has changed me, Rogin. A lot. I know I won't do this again." She spoke the truth. "Please, allow me to hold you as you did me when I needed it. Let me comfort you as you did me. I wish to return the favor. Anger or hurt knows no age. No matter how strong you are, it appears out of nowhere. You just have to let it go through some other outlet, you should take up a hobby as I have." She began to get excited. "May I show you what I have made? Oh, please? Please? Please?
Admin's Note:[/hr]"
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Post by mc16neo on Dec 27, 2009 18:17:09 GMT -5
Rogin looked at her. He let her lay on his lap and rubbed her hair. Then he looked at her. He small grin came to his face. "Show me." he said. "But I do not need a Hobby. my family is all I need." he said. Rogin waited to see what she would show him. He relaxeds just a bit more.
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Post by Drgnwlf71 on Dec 27, 2009 20:38:12 GMT -5
"Yay!" she bounced up and down on his lap and clapped her hands. She ran off and a few moments later, she had several sketches of Spike and the others and a couple of wood carvings. She smiled. She showed him the sketches first. He handed him seven parchments that had ink drawings on them.
"Spike, you, Konta, Veran, Tia, Ferik and Boop. I did then all by memory after my chores and after I ate, of course."
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Post by mc16neo on Dec 27, 2009 20:44:30 GMT -5
Rogin looked through the sketches and at the carvings. He grinned and looked at her. "You did this?" he asked. Rogin chuckled and looked at them again, "Do you want to be a woodcrafter." he asked. "Veran has taken up smithcrafting, Konta beastcraft, I think you would be useful to me as a woodcrafter."
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Post by Drgnwlf71 on Dec 27, 2009 20:59:21 GMT -5
"Yes, I did!" she beamed proudly and puffed out her chest. "I think I would do excellent no matter where I am or what I am doing." Tali said. "I rather enjoy the wood. Its very uh-soothing. The sketches...not as much."
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Post by mc16neo on Dec 27, 2009 21:12:43 GMT -5
"Then take up the craft. When you are at a Hold you are not a renegade. Act as any other girl. DO you understand? Learn the craft and then do as you please. Make the figurines and sell them to make some profit."
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Post by Drgnwlf71 on Dec 27, 2009 21:27:56 GMT -5
"Yes, sir. Where do I go?" she was all business now. "What of Kegin? What if he sees me, he is bound to recognize me." She never asked any questions about his intensions, just that she trusted him.
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Post by mc16neo on Dec 28, 2009 3:41:06 GMT -5
Rogin smiled, "He stays to the weyr. So you stay to the hold. Understood. Go to Dark Moon Hold and become an apprentice to a Woodcrafter. From there you are not to return home. I will check on you daily. You are not losing your family. Only becoming of more use. You may return home once I call for you. Other then that you are not a renegade. You will be a normal woman. Is that understood? And as for me never touching you, it is because Veran already has." Rogin chuckled and looked at her, "Now be off with you. I want you to improve."
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Post by Drgnwlf71 on Dec 28, 2009 8:38:48 GMT -5
Tali smiled.
"Yes, sir." she gathered all her things. She snapped her feet together and gave Him and Konta a respectful nod. She backed away until she was out the door. She was a little hesitant to leave out of the protection of Rogin and the others but she had given an opportunity, an opportunity to make Rogin proud of her.
She went back to the cave where Veran was and set her sketches and things on the table. Without a word, she had this look on her face that he had never seen before. A look of complete happiness. Her eyes were soft and not hard, compassionate and were dancing with excitement. It was quite a change when she last went in. No words were needed. She gave him the wood carving of himself and kissed him on the lips. She pointed to the other things on the table.
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Post by mc16neo on Dec 28, 2009 20:03:57 GMT -5
Veran was surprised but knew it must have something to do with Rogin. Veran smiled at her and looked at the rest she left. Then he got back to work.
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Post by Drgnwlf71 on Dec 28, 2009 21:09:04 GMT -5
She gathered her carvings and kissed Veran farewell.
"It's only temporary, love. I'll be back. Don't worry." She caressed his cheek, lovingly. "I must go." She sighed as a slight fear appeared in her eyes. What if Kegin finds her and kills her? She was indeed hesitant to leave the protection of the forest. This was her first real outing and she was afraid. "Veran, what if Kegins finds me?"
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Post by mc16neo on Dec 28, 2009 21:26:17 GMT -5
Veran looked at her and smiled. "If he does he will not risk anything in public. But if he does then move away. No confrintation. Hide if you must."
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Post by Drgnwlf71 on Dec 28, 2009 22:02:54 GMT -5
Tali nodded.
"I will see you later, love." She hiked up her stuff on her shoulder. She sighed and she walked out of sight. She walked to the edge of the forest. She scanned the scenery. No sign of Kegin. Good. She cautiously exited the forest. Now she was vulnerable. No Rogin, Konta or Veran to watch over her. It was a very scary thing but the one that she had to do. She had to be brave and strong. Tali was tired of being afriad, well no more! She stood up straight and walked to Azvon Hold. She looked back often. No. No one following her. Good.
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